The Closed Eye Experiment

by I've Never Been Here Before

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1.
Scary and blue That's me Then you What are you scared of Is it me Is it me Why are you scared to See Anything There's a knife to her neck Can you see There is love unlike yours Can you see There are backs being broke Can you see There's a reason that our fingers can't shoot bullets Can you see Somebody's kid is out there Can you see And there is nowhere to breathe Can I don't You unlocked the door So I won't have eyes anymore Am I only alive To take on what you can't carry It's so much for my eyes It makes me feel blind And all this just scares me But you said "if we're alive to see something What is it" It doesn't have to be scary Just close, your, eyes And see shly shly's
2.
Idea 29 04:17
3.
i8it 03:52
I wanna be eated Don't make me ask I wanna be eated Don't make me beg Every head is you Every head is you Every you is I Wanna be eated Every cigarette is you Every exhale is too Every inhale is you Every bad dream too Red looks like blue And blue looks like you Every me I find Every you I lose But every me at least (Every me I choose) X5 Somewhere else Theres another me She's as close as you can get But she doesn't have my face Everybody knows her but nobody knows her name I want you to kill me and her (That part is gone All that part is gone) X4 I buried it I ate it I think i did right to go out alone A still born kitten with one large eye in the center of its head Worms ate it and I hate it (I hate it and I ate it) X8 You tasted me once And now you like cigarettes Never Thought of myself As a Tool that you could use But rather As a Thing to be consumed I am just A body I won't end Just because You ask Every cigarette is you Every bad dream is too I am just Your hammer my teeth Are your nail and my Body is gone I ate it I hate it when you Poison me POISON ME Every inhale is you Every exhale is too Every inhale is you Every exhale too
4.
LYHB 02:56
Chorus Daddy Daddy how can you sleep When you've left me these grounds to keep They're burning burning burning oh Daddy Daddy how can you sleep You've left me with no eyes to see Daddy Daddy please There must be something more for me Post chorusm You used to be Verse You'll never find the road You'll die alone End up buried by the water Of never saying daughter But despite being frightened By the scale of my Poseidon My eyes are alight and enlightened So I can see quite clearly whats ahead for me it's disquieting and I'm Developing an eating disorder Or At least I never get the things I need Please Give your hand to me No matter what I need That's what it used to be When I was cold I'd come home So why am I shivering all alone Oh Daddy Daddy how can you How can you sleep Bridge Is anybody listening It's funny how if we say it It must be wrong We need you to do something For us For fucks sake You Don't leave us here Chorus Daddy daddy how can you sleep When you've left me with no eyes to see I'm dying dying dying oh Daddy daddy how can you sleep When you've left me these grounds to keep They're burning burning burning oh Daddy daddy please There must be something more for me Daddy Daddy There must be something more for me Daddy daddy Please
5.
Unremarkable 03:39
Unremarkble Little atoms floating off into space Or wherever atoms float I guess Unremarkble Dreams that a million people have I guess that's just normal, now Unremarkble Creatures moving with both legs I think they're called humans i guess And, I, thought You would never let me, down I guess that's just normal, now Unremarkble Words written on a page Does anyone even read, anymore Unremarkble Lives lived on a stage Does anyone even care, anymore Unremarkble Creature making sounds I guess they are brilliant, minds And, I, thought You would never let me, down I guess I'm a silent, sound Unremarkable That's what "you" and "me" means At least that's how it seems I'm to dead to be me So you must be Out there, hopefully
6.
Verse Her hands look just like hers My hands look just like yours She's coming over passing by She's coming out, side Yea Can you finally see my eyes X4 If you ever wanted to come home You could still find me alone It's been hard When you left you said where's your heart Yea So can't I finally see your eyes Can't I finally see your eyes X3 I refuse to cry It's your fault you're not by my side I wanna keep you your life Why don't you even try for mine You can hate to get away but we still want to forget you You can bleed in my face but I'm still gonna hate you You can hate my name but she's still gonna take it How do you see With those broken holes Can you open them Or will they always be closed So can I finally see your eyes Can I finally see your eyes X5
7.
I just want to be Anything you could never dream All I have is everything That they don't want from me All I wanna be is an eerie feeling All I wanna be is an eerie feeling All I wanna be is an eerie feeling All I wanna be is an eerie feeling All I wanna be is an eerie feeling All I want to be Oh nobody alone Dancing alone I wanna go home My lover again A feeling of nausea and shame and sweetness Comes rushing in I leave my door ajar Just to go with the wind A strangers eyes just somehow missed A flicker of light turns on in the distance And i see through into you Pacing back with eyes not clouded With ears eager for sound In remembrance of the times You’d hold the arms of youth out I leave my door ajar for you Don’t know where you’ve been Or where youre headed to Never asked if You would approve of anything That i do Once a sweet girlfriend Now a sweet boy Alone in the snow Once a hurt girlfriend Today a loving boy I wont wait for you to show Snowing on my boy breasts cold burning in my chest I wanted you to show But its all right now Its all right now Its all right Staring into the snow I don't wanna be your heart I don't wanna be your heart Don't look cause you can't see it It's breathing behind you but you can't hear it It's in your mind or is that it running up to exactly where you hide DONT CRY ITS COMING All I bleed are these eerie feelings All I bleed are these eerie feelings Don't cry It's coming All I bleed are these eerie feelings All I bleed are these eerie feelings All I bleed are these eerie feelings All I seem to bleed Don't cry Its coming

about

The Closed Eye Experiment
A 5 year document of my life
5 songs were written pre transition and have existed as a part of this project with this title since early 2019, with some of the songs being as old as 2017
i8it and eerie feelings are new
this ep features my friends lee amy nick and my girlfriend lily. Their artist names are Pighati, 3verie, Nick Pants and Businessman.
nick - guitar on c/ur/eyes
lily - singing on c/ur/eyes
amy - singing on eerie feeling
lee - singing and piano on eerie feeling

this ep trails me buried in my parents house, alone without queer community, without anyone to call me pretty. i wrote it's raining again around the same time as shly shly and idea 29 the first two songs. Idea 30 from i am a body is a sequel to idea 29
shly shly is what my sibling calls butterflys. my dad ripped blue make up with my face with a paper towel
i8it is about eating pussy
LYHB is the best thing a ukulele has ever done
Unremarkable is my single oldest song, first demo from 2017
c/ur/eyes is also very old, by this point in the ep i have abandoned my family i have fought and yelled and screamed and fucked and created and become a person
eerie feeling is about that person
thank you

credits

released September 29, 2023

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about

I've Never Been Here Before Santa Cruz, California

Manalia Roezé is a producer, songwriter, and diy bitch from santa cruz and all of I've Never Been Here Before
follow on ig @ivenerbeenhereb4 for show updates and release news
obsessed with demons cats and trans people
biggest inspos are xiu xiu, home is where, sophie, baths, 2000's pop, noise music, modular synthesis, dnb dj'ing, screaming at inappropriate times, deep voiced girls, shitty parents
... more

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